Top 5 Most Colorful Comments on TSA Nude Body Scanner Rulemaking

The TSA has to date published 5,472 comments on its proposed rule allowing it to “legally” (at least as far as the Administrative Procedures Act, still not so much as far as the Constitution) use body scanners, now approaching 3 years after they started. Analyzing a random sample of 100 comments, I posted last month that 97 of them were opposed to the scanners. This would extrapolate to 5,308 comments opposing the scanners and 164 in favor.

Some people took the occasion to really give the TSA a piece of their mind. Here are my top 5:

  • 5. Kiefer from Saskatchewan writes succinctly: “fuck you”
  • 4. Nina from California adds: “These screenings are a gross invasion of privacy, executed by assholes with god complexes and little education. I am disgusted! They don’t improve security and they unduly harass airline passengers. Do away with it!”
  • 3. Bobby, location not given, asks: “TSA. Name one real terrorist threat that has been stopped by your body scanning efforts. You can’t, but even if you could, it would not justify treating all people who fly like criminals. Fuck this rule and fuck the TSA as it now stands.”
  • 2. Robert from Oregon politely notes: “Attention, To whom it may concern within the Federal government. Shove these scanners up your collectivist asses. P.S. Read the ‘Bill of Rights’ you twats.”
  • 1. Fabian from California argues persuasively: “THIS IS A PILE OF SHIT GOVERNMENT AGENCY!! It does nothing to protect us, it’s only a fear mechanism to affect the nations psyche. We are NOT all criminals. These machines and policies are a violation of my 4th Amendment rights to be free from unreasonable searches. It is overly invasive and intrusive and is unneeded considering you are more likely to get struck by lighting two times than die in a terrorist attack. FUCK THIS POLICY AND AGENCY. Dismantle it immediately.”

Again, a huge thank you to everyone who participated. I’m looking forward to seeing what the TSA does. 🙂

9 thoughts on “Top 5 Most Colorful Comments on TSA Nude Body Scanner Rulemaking

Add yours

  1. The TSA won’t do anything with these comments. They’re going to keep on groping children, grandmothers and soldiers, and they’re going to continue walking around like the mall cops on a power trip that they are. Absolutely nothing with change, because “Big Government Knows What Is Best For Us”

  2. Reminds me of the Alexander Haig quote: “Let them march all they want, as long as they continue to pay their taxes.”

    Let them complain all they want, as long as they keep using the system.

    1. So true. It’s in the TSO job description to listen to complaints. The bottom line is if people still get on that plane, after complaining, TSA and the airlines have won.

  3. Chicago police are spying on citizens from 24,000 surveillance cameras funded by the TSA:

    Police officers in Chicago, Illinois can remotely access video shot from any of the city’s 24,000 closed-circuit television cameras, and they are already using that ability to nab suspects who thought they could outsmart surveillance.

    According to a recent Chicago Sun-Time article by Pulitzer
    Prize-winning journalist Frank Main, police officers in the Windy
    City recently issued their first arrest stemming from the use of
    space-age facial-recognition technology coupled with thousands of
    cameras that collect live video in real-time at all hours of the

    Pierre Martin, 34, was arrested on May 2 and charged with armed
    robbery in connection with two incidents from earlier this year.
    During one of those events, a video camera owned by the Chicago
    Transit Authority (CTA) and wired to the city’s three detective
    branches and the Criminal Information Prevention Center at police
    headquarters was rolling when Martin allegedly encountered his

    Months later, investigators were able to use the footage recorded
    using the CTA cameras and comb through a database of 4.5 million
    criminal booking shots in order to identify Martin as a person of
    interest. He is the first individual to be picked up by the CPD
    using the facial-recognition technology, but only one month after
    a city-wide roll-out he is likely to not be the last.

    The Transportation Security Administration has given the CTA a
    $5.4 million grant to aid with the program, and that money has
    been used to update an already impressive arsenal of
    city-licensed surveillance cameras to run in tandem with NeoFace,
    a high-tech analysis program used by various governments and law
    enforcement agencies around the globe to grab biometric data off
    of an image and match it to another.

  4. Starting in 2015 the TSA is going to randomly test for STDs. If you are randomly picked the TSA will use a Qtip and test your vagina or the tip of your penis. The test takes 5 minutes or less. If you are caught with a STD the large STD sign will light up red and your face will be posted on the global STD electronic board. There person will be detained for 48 to 72 hours at the STD TSA clinic. Free food and drink will be provided.

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