Guys Sue Red Bull Because It Didn’t “Give Them Wings”

One of the things I hate, and pretty much every non-lawyer hates, about the legal system is that at the end of the day, the only real winners are the lawyers, who bill $250 – $1,000+ per hour to fight over what is often an absurd battle. Take, for example, Careathers v. Red Bull:

Benjamin Careathers, a regular consumer of the fizzy drink, sued the company for false advertising, arguing that after 10 years drinking Red Bull he neither had wings nor any enhanced athletic or intellectual performance.

Source: The Telegraph

Now, I love Red Bull. I drink it all the time, and I follow their marketing campaigns because they are brilliant, so I’m interested as a businessman, and because they’re fun, so I’m interested as a consumer. Red Bull sponsors events all over the world, including their very own “Flugtag” event, and they have their catchy, “Red Bull Gives You Wings” tag line. But, as a consumer, I never expected to be “given wings,” nor did I believe any of the other stuff the lawsuit claims, such as their assertion that Red Bull misled consumers into thinking that Red Bull was scientifically proven to be superior to its competition. No, I buy Red Bull because I like it, not because I am delusional.

The case was certified as a class action, with the class being every Red Bull consumer since 2002. Red Bull has decided to settle this case rather than fight (by giving every customer $10 of free Red Bull), which brings us to the real reason for this suit, of course: the lawyers are asking for a $4.75 million dollar fee. I’m disappointed that Red Bull didn’t fight this battle, but totally understand that it’s a “cheap” (comparatively) way to make them go away and almost acts as a promo in itself as people rush to get their free 4-pack.

Luckily, as a member of the settlement class, I get to express my disappointment to the court, and will be filing my objection to the Red Bull settlement on Monday. Will this actually change anything? Probably not on its own, but courts have been known to reduce fees when finalizing settlements on class actions, so I hope my objection will weigh on that.

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  1. Frequent Flyer ‘Terrorist’ Who Blogs About TSA Troubles was Watchlisted for Animal Activism

    “I’m a convicted terrorist. I fly a lot. And the TSA won’t leave me alone.” That’s the tagline for the “Jetsetting Terrorist,” a blog launched last month in which a frequent flying hipster who has been watchlisted writes (humorously) about his misadventures trying to get on planes. He started the blog anonymously, saying only that he was convicted of a “property crime” years ago and was watchlisted in 2009. Since then, he can’t check in on a mobile device or at a kiosk. He always gets a boarding pass with a big SSSS on it. TSA agents’ eyes get big when he hands him the pass. He can’t opt out of the body scanner, and is selected for “special screening” every time, which involves his luggage being torn apart, his computer turned on, his things swabbed for explosive residue, and what he “euphemistically calls a ‘thorough pat-down’.” Despite this happening every time, he doesn’t like to get to the airport extra early. “I try to act like a normal traveler even if they treat me like an abnormal one,” he said when I reached him by phone after spotting his blog on Boing Boing. “I try to challenge their stereotypes of a ‘terrorist.’ I dress like an upper middle-class white guy. I double down on the Banana Republic.”


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