The knowledge I’ve gained as to the legal system since filing my suit against the TSA is invaluable. Knowing one’s rights, and precisely how to demand them, is a beautiful thing.

So, when a Miami Beach “public safety officer” (hereafter, “the meter maid”) asked me to move my car while I was loading it in a “no parking” zone, I politely informed her that I wasn’t parking, but standing. She not so politely wrote me a ticket and informed me to move my car or it would towed. I looked it up later, and I was indeed right: parking in Florida is defined as “the standing of a vehicle, whether occupied or not, otherwise than temporarily for the purpose of and while actually engaged in loading or unloading merchandise or passengers…”

No problem, just go to the little parking court hearing and explain and they’ll toss the ticket right? Nope. “Hearing officer” Carmen Dominguez, who according to her profile with her day job at Miami Dade College has been an attorney for 23 years, wanted to hear none of it. She refused to allow me to ask the meter maid what the definition of parking was. She hurried me, telling me maybe 2 or 3 minutes in that people were waiting. And, despite eventually getting the meter maid to admit that she thought parking was defined as “when the gear shift is in park” and that she made no attempt to determine if I was loading or unloading, I was found guilty and fined a wallet-busting $40 or so.

Clearly she didn’t know who I am. 😉 I went down to the Parking Violations Bureau and filed a Notice of Appeal, together with a filing fee of ~$300. Quite the gamble: if I lose, I’m now out $340, and if I win, I’m up my $40 (assuming I can chase down the county for the filing fee) — which is probably why the clerk at the PVB told me I was the first one he’s ever seen file an appeal. I then took my appellate brief that I filed in my first TSA case and used that as a template for my new appeal. I researched Florida appellate procedure (it’s not complicated and took maybe an hour or so) and the parking laws one more time, and went to writing. Twelve pages later, my appellate brief was finished. The arguments were basically, 1) the only witness against me admitted she didn’t know what parking was, 2) the only witness against me admitted she didn’t know if I was loading/unloading, and 3) the judge erred in refusing to allow me to ask the meter maid for the definition of parking.

The county decided not to respond to my appeal. This doesn’t get me a default judgment, however: in appellate court, the case is still evaluated on the merits of the appeal and based on any records from the lower court. I got the happy verdict today: reversed and remanded! A 3-judge panel ruled that “as a result of [the meter maid’s] misconception of the law, this Appellate Court finds that insufficient evidence existed on the record to satisfy the statutory elements proving the existence of a parking violation.”

This is actually my first win in appeals court, so it’s pretty exciting for me, even if it’s a low-stakes case. Was it worth it? Probably not, but it’s that “principle of the thing” that gets me every time. 🙂 It’s also nice to see that the kangaroo courts that many municipalities set up can indeed be beaten. I think I’ll send an autographed copy to the meter maid and Ms. Dominguez. 😉

In case anyone wants to give it a go themselves, here’s what worked for me…

Florida v. Corbett – Appellant Brief (.pdf)
Florida v. Corbett – Reversed & Remanded (.pdf)

I posted earlier about TSA patrolling outside of Detroit’s Electronic Music Festival. DHS apparently doesn’t want to stop there: inside the festival, there were uniformed border patrol agents:

What could CBP possibly be lawfully doing in a music festival? Well, of course, I asked. The response was along the lines of: “We’re within 50 miles of the border, and can patrol anywhere we want to. We can enforce both state and federal laws.”

Absolutely astounding.

From her third-floor balcony, Muir then watched the soldiers fire off flares and smoke bombs before searching floor by floor through the darkened hotel, their paths marked by flashlights and the pop-pop-pop of gunshots. “The show of force was so overwhelming,” she said.

The maneuvers were part of a “realistic urban training” exercise for about 100 military personnel, and organized by the U.S. Special Operations Command, said Maj. Michael Burns, a U.S. Army spokesman. The exercise also included three military helicopters, and the use of simulated explosions and gunfire to mimic real-life military scenarios.

…

Miami police assisted in overseeing the exercises — but they were instructed to keep quiet about the exercises until late Monday, for security reasons.

Source: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/05/08/2789687/military-training-in-the-middle.html

Dear Military: Stay the fuck out of my city. You have got to be kidding me: dropping from helicopters in the middle of the night while playing gun and bomb sounds without even the courtesy of notifying the residents of what you’re doing (For “security reasons?” Whose security?). This is the same style of assholery that we are seeing from all aspects of the government right now, and while I try to keep this blog non-partisan (as TSA abuse is not an issue that divides us), the blame for this goes straight up to the White House. This behavior is disrespectful to the American people, and we deserve an apology.