The younger generation is fond of the phrase, “I can’t even,” to describe situations that are beyond the scope of normalcy.
U.S Customs & Border Patrol agents an Newark-Liberty International Airport, a stone’s throw from Manhattan, have been accused of initiating new officers — male and female — with a “hazing ritual” that they call the “rape table.” A new officer subject to the “rape table” is led into a secure room where the lights are turned off and they are held down and groped and humped by their senior officers.
These are the people we’re supposed to be ok with searching our digital items without a warrant. Who can detain you for up to 8 hours without giving you a reason, a phone call, or an attorney. The people who are supposed to be busy, you know, keeping our borders secure. Who also think the “rape table” is ok.
I. Can’t. Even.
Professional Troublemaker ® 
What. The. Hell.
Dammit, I just checked and Amazon doesn’t seem to carry a CBP approved ‘Rape Table.”
Maybe we’ll get lucky and DHS will install them at airports everywhere by 2018. Then we wouldn’t have to be subjected to fondling and sexual assault before boarding a plane.
An official ‘rape table would allow the TSA/CBP to openly rape citizens before they board a plane or enter the country.
…for our safety, of course.
ABA expresses concern about border searches of lawyer laptops and other electronic devices:
http://www.abajournal.com/news/article/aba_expresses_concern_about_border_searches_of_lawyer_laptops_and_other_ele/