The Most Epic Court Transcript Ever

Warning: Disturbing language.

Denver Allen

Denver Allen, a resident of Floyd County, Ga.’s jail, doesn’t much like judges.  Or attorneys.  Or his cellmate that he allegedly murdered, which led to a preliminary hearing on the matter last week.

The popcorn-worthy part of the full 19-page transcript begins when Mr. Allen requests that the court appoint him a different public defender:

MR ALLEN: He’s misrepresenting my case.  He told me if I wanted him to do a good job, I had to let him give me oral sex…

When the Hon. J. Bryant Durham, Jr. suggests that his claims — both the demand for sex and general allegations of ineffective counsel — are not believable and he won’t be getting a new attorney, he takes it to the next level:

THE COURT: Listen to me.

MR. ALLEN: Fuck you.

THE COURT: Listen to me.

MR. ALLEN: Go fuck yourself.  I’m through here.  Are y’all done?

THE COURT: I’m finding you in contempt of court.

MR. ALLEN: I don’t care.

THE COURT:  I know you don’t.  And I sentence you to 20 days for that.  And if you say anything else, I’m going to add twenty days for everything you say.

MR. ALLEN: Fuck you.

THE COURT: 40 days.

MR. ALLEN: Fuck you again.


MR. ALLEN: Go fuck yourself.

THE COURT: A year.

MR. ALLEN: Your mama.

THE COURT: 10 years.

MR. ALLEN: Suck my dick.

It doesn’t stop there.  After more general profanity, it gets stepped up another notch, as the judge gets baited into sinking down to his level:

THE COURT: You know, you look like a queer.

MR. ALLEN: Well, okay, so now you’re calling me a queer in the courtroom?

THE COURT: I didn’t call you one.  I said you looked like one.

[…more banter…]

MR. ALLEN: Can we get a court order to get my dick sucked, sir?

THE COURT: You’re so cute.  I know all the inmates just love you to death.

MR. ALLEN: Oh, yeah.

THE COURT: Oh, I bet.

MR. ALLEN: All those white butt boys love me to death, too.

THE COURT: Okay.  Well, I’ll bet they do, and I bet all the rest of them do, too.

MR. ALLEN: You ain’t supposed to smile in court.

THE COURT: I’ll bet everybody enjoys sucking your cock.

But, there’s just one more way to notch this up to the next level:

MR. ALLEN: How about this — I’ll kill your whole family.  When I get in this trial, I will murder your whole family.  I’ll cut your children up into pieces.  I’ll knock their brains out with a fucking hammer and feed them to you

Truly amazing.

2 thoughts on “The Most Epic Court Transcript Ever

Add yours

  1. Well, sounds like a normal day in our typical court to me. Fruit cakes on both sides of the bench.

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