Getting drunk and having sex on a public beach during the day when there could be kids around isn’t exactly polite, and I’d certainly expect that if caught, one would end up in jail. Maybe some probation, pay a fine, etc., for a first-time offender.

Not in Florida, of course, where the state once again makes the news for being a bit retarded. Jose Caballero and Elissa Alvarez now face 15 years in prison and mandatory registration on the sex offender list for the crime of being drunken assholes. This is a crime where no one was injured, where children were not part of the intent, and the only damage done was that a couple parents had to explain the birds and the bees to their children before they had planned. (Cite me a single study, from a reputable source in the last 25 years, that shows that children have any long-term harm resultant from accidentally seeing a single sex act, and I’ll donate $100 to your favorite charity.)

I looked up the statute under which they were charged, and noticed something peculiar: it’s under the same section of the law that deals with statutory rape. As it turns out, they could literally have walked up to one of the children and persuaded him or her to join in on the sex, and it would have been the same penalty.

What on earth is wrong with the Florida legislature? Why can’t we keep things in proportion?

Because someone screamed, “think of the children,” and tough penalties on sex offenders win elections. As a result, 2 people’s lives are now ruined. Was your re-election worth it?

Feel free to let the prosecuting attorney know how you feel.