You can’t make this stuff up.

The New York Times reports that last September, NYPD officers in Times Square came across a mentally disturbed man. When the man reached into his pocket, the cops assumed he was going for a gun (despite it being impossible for the man to have a gun, since guns are illegal in NYC!) and shot at him 3 times. All three shots missed, and two of them hit bystanders. The man was subdued with a Taser and found to have no weapons at all.

Yesterday, it was announced that the man was indicted for assaulting the two bystanders on the theory that he was responsible for the cops being “forced” to shoot at him and injure other people.

The Assistant District Attorney responsible for this assholery is Shannon Lucey. If you’d like to express your outrage, the DA’s office has joined the 21st century and accepts e-mails. No, just kidding, you’ll have to call them (preferably with a rotary phone).